i hope i never make you feel...

One of social media’s greatest talents is making you feel inadequate in some sort of way. I feel it, too. And if you use any avenue of social media frequently, and don’t feel it, congratulations. You’ve escaped some sort of psychological, slow and subtle torture (enjoy the semi-serious sarcasm). I know I don’t have much influence, but I’ve probably made someone out there feel slightly inadequate at one time or another. Maybe we’re all guilty. So here’s this:

I hope I never make you feel like you need to buy more clothes.

Yes, I post about clothes, but please don’t feel like you need to buy more. If you’re feeling bad, new clothes won’t help you. I know. I’ve tried. I don’t often shop/buy new clothes - at least by today’s instagram standards. A lot of my clothes are thrifted or really old or I went momentarily mad and dropped a lot of money on a special piece. Because I’ve been consistent with posting outfits made up of thrifted clothing, some brands do decide to send me clothes to photograph. But guess what, if you think getting to this point will solve all your problems, it won’t.

I hope I never make you feel like you need a cuter apartment.

Our apartment is awesome, but that’s because I’m choosing to look at its pros. Every place and thing and person has pros. Our apartment has about three angles in which it looks sweet. The other part I’m not showing you is a nasty kitchen and a nonexistent other part because our apartment is so small that if I backed up one more step while taking some of my cute photos, I would back into a wall. It’s on a busy street, and we frequently hear sirens and honking horns (c’mon it’s New York). Someone downstairs is a chain smoker, and it gives me a headache. At least once a day, Joe and I bump our hip or shin on something squeezing into the kitchen, into the closet, or around the bed while making it.

I hope I never make you feel like you need to eat out at nicer places.

One of my favorite things is going out to eat. And when we go out, we’ll pick a fun, trendy looking place, and I’ll share it. Only sharing your good/beautiful/curated times on instagram is completely fine. It’s when you start to believe it’s a person’s entire life that does some damage. Joe and I love ordering domino’s, dumplings, and frequently cook at home. But you know what, domino’s is really beautiful and trendy, and I can’t wait to post about them more #ad #jk #iwish #dominosplzhalpme

I hope I never make you feel like you have to have more money.

If you ever wonder how we have money to live our lifestyle, I’m right there with you. hahahahaha. But remember like I said above: I thrift for clothes or don’t buy them, we’ve compromised on the size of our apartment to get a cheaper rate on one with a photogenic corner, and we eat on the cheap usually. That way we save up money to spend on some fun things like trips, coffees, pastries, nice dinners, thrifting etc. I end up feeling poor a lot because instagram makes it seem like everyone is so rich. I’m not poor, but I am not wealthy. Maybe wealthy in sarcasm AAAYOOOO.

I hope I never make you feel like to need to find a perfect life partner.

Joe and I are very happy together. But we aren’t perfect; it may look that, but we have been together for 10 years and have had our share of fights. Find someone who you can fight with and who will listen to you. If you can’t find that, stay single. A relationship takes a lot of work to maintain. It comes with pros, but it’s not all peaches and cream. Joe, if you’re reading this, I love you.

I hope I never make you feel like you need a more interesting career.

A while ago, Joe and I started to pursue fashion photography and now I’m pursuing blogging/writing whatever. It’s going well, but it’s always slower and a lot more work than it looks. There’s not an hour that goes by that I’m not thinking of new ways to improve our businesses or thinking I should be working harder or feeling guilty when work is slow. Having a freelance career, while exciting, can feel like a constant stress. It’s not all rosy.

I hope I never make you feel like you need more followers on Instagram.

While I don’t have that many followers at all, I have sat back at some point and said, “if only I could just reach 5k…” and on our photography account I’ve thought, “if only we could get past 10k…” While I have reached both those goals, I’m surprised to find that no magically fairy has come down to shine favor on me with more collaborations or more work or exposure. As I look forward with the same attitude of “if I only I could reach (fill in the blank) number of followers…” I can only surmise that the feeling will inevitably be the same no matter what number I reach.

I hope I never make you feel like you need to be happier.

I am not happy all the time. And sometimes I pretend like I am happier online because I am self-conscious of being a “downer”. I have a bad day three times or more a week. YAY! I really hope you appreciated this “downer” post :)

Do you see the point? Things don’t make you happier. An instagram perfect life doesn’t make you happier. And while you all are probably thinking, “duh, Katie, we know that,” I’m sure you could use the reminder as could I.

I am working towards becoming who I truly am and loving that girl regardless. I am working towards being secure in what I already have. I’ve worked really hard to get to where I am, and it’s important to stop, look around, and appreciate your life even when it’s not perfect. It’s totally fine to have goals or things you want, but don’t waste any time thinking you won’t be happy until you have them. When you can accept yourself now, the goals and achievements will be all the sweeter.

I know this is corny, but

“I like corny. I’m looking for corny in my life.”


10 points to Gryffindor for naming who said that last quote.

musingsKatie Bauer1 Comment