thirty years

I’m 30 today. After all the hype, it’s finally here, and I feel…THE SAME!

I’ve been thinking about what to write about this birthday for a while. What wisdom can I impart? Do I have any in the first place? ;) I went through the whole, “holy crap! I’m gonna be 30!” phase. And “wow, did I do everything I wanted to do before 30?”

Then yesterday, I came to the conclusion, “WHO CARES?!” This past year I’ve been learning to make the distinction between what people think of me and what I think of me. Here is a perfect time to practice. Why do we think 30 is old/a milestone/a benchmark? Why do we think we need to have a, b, or c accomplished before 30?

We put that pressure on ourselves (or we think other people are putting it on us). All that matters is that you’re slowly moving towards who you want to be and what you want to do. And age doesn’t matter.

I’m a little bit happier, a little more enlightened, and a little bit closer to my goals than last year, so YAY.

Things this past year of life has taught me:

• The most important person you need love from isn’t your s/o, your friends, your parents, or even God. It’s you. You need to love you.

• Mindset changes everything.

• If you don’t like something about yourself, you can change it.

• If you tell yourself, "everything is hard for me," everything will seem hard for you.

• If you tell yourself, "everything is easy for me," everything will seem easy for you.

• If your brain is spiraling out of control with a thought or feeling, label it “thinking” or “feeling,” and it will calm your mind.

• There’s no use stressing about things you can’t control. It’s a waste of energy (something I always “knew” but never really knew).

• Also, everything is going to be okay.

2018 goals

The new year is a good time to think about starting over and setting goals because... when is it not a good idea to challenge yourself to be better. Plus everyone is talking about it, so it's really motivating or FOMO or both (I like both).

I'm a little scared to set goals because I don't really trust myself to follow through. I see myself time and time again not doing what I asked myself to do, and it makes me believe I'm just a lazy kid who will always be that way. But who cares?! That was the past. I love myself, and I get infinity number of chances to do what's right for me, right?! because I live in this body and I live this life and who will live it if not me? So goals...

1. learn to trust myself.

2. love myself a little bit more. 

3. meditate in the morning during the week.

4. yoga in the morning during the week.

5. read at least two self help books.

6. move to a new state.

7. get a photography agent.

8. grow my instagram following (vague, but yeah) for @imokaygirl

9. travel to Paris.

10. stand up straighter.

(coat by vartist, sunglasses by sun buddies, top from h&m, jeans by levis, bag by coach (thrifted), boots by creatures of comfort)

streaks

I’ve been using this app called “Streaks” lately, and it tracks how many days/weeks in a row I do my daily/weekly goals. 

For example I have one for practicing French, one for tidying for 10 minutes, one for DOING MY TUESDAY BLOG POST (yay), etc.

Practicing French and taking my garlic vitamin (long story) every day has been going good. As you can see, my water phase has reached it’s end. I tried drinking 96 oz of water a day for 24 days in a row, and nothing changed, except I had to pee all the time! I don’t know what people are talking about when they say “my skin was glowing after I started drinking more water!” NO. WRONG. I initially drank a gallon a day for a whole week, and felt like it was a little too much for my body….

I’d highly recommend the 10-minute daily clean. My best streak for that was 12 days in a row. Our apartment stayed really clean and fresh during those days, and you’d be surprised how much you can do in 10 minutes! Just set a timer on your phone and listen to music. 

I have a workout streak on there. It’s grayed out in the picture because I only have to do it Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. And today is Tuesday, duh! I missed yesterday’s workout so I’m back down to 0. At first I thought the bump down to 0 times in a row was depressing, but I’m getting used to the app, and it’s keeping me more motivated than without it. 

Not a sponsored post….please sponsor me….

sunglasses from céline, jacket from h&m, sweater thrifted from house of vintage, jeans from need supply by cheap monday, boots by creatures of comfort. 

I want to do that

Recently I’ve been feeling really sad and depressed because I’m overwhelmed by the number of things I want to do and hobbies I want to start, and I’m afraid I’ll never do anything about them. Mainly overwhelmed and scared because I know how long it takes to cultivate a talent or grow a business and I'M LAZY. But saying, “that’s going to take forever to see actual results” or “I’ll never get a big enough audience to care” or “It’ll take years for me to be good at that!” are just excuses.

So anyways, I recognize that I’m giving lots of excuses, and I don’t want to be that person. So in this moment (who knows how long it’ll last – that’s why I need to document this NOW), I don’t want to give any more excuses. I want to be like “I WANT TO DO THAT!” and then do it.

(I want to start a blog)

(I want to write more)

(I want to start a personal instagram account)

(I want to travel)

(I want to go to _________ Fashion Week)

(I want to plan more editorials)

(I want to learn how to sew)

(I want to learn a few languages)

(I want to exercise more)

(I want to not care)

Hold me accountable, dear blog. Let all that I write and share be used to guilt me later when I’m lazy. Amen.

earrings by urban outfitters -- the perfect hoops for people with gauges that won't close ;)