DISCLAIMER: I found this "masterpiece" on my computer recently. It was written during college at a very boring job. Enjoy!
As we all know, Unicorns are majestic beasts, filled with magical powers beyond our comprehension. I think you will agree when I say that they should be treated with honor, love, and respect, and the only reason you might want to capture one would be to love it and majestically ride it through large fields while wearing long, flowing clothing. Anyone who might wish to capture a Unicorn to exploit its power or drink its blood for everlasting life is not welcome to read this post. Honestly, get a life, Unicorn slayers!
First thing you need to know is how powerful a Unicorn truly is. Let’s start with the powers on the Unicorn’s head. Its mane, healing +30 and strategy +20, is full of thick hair which can be lengthened or shortened at will. This is convenient for making braided, very strong ropes for climbing down cliffs or up towers. Even when a Unicorn’s mane is cut, the cut hair continues to grow. The hair is also used for healing common colds if stewed in light goose broth.
Unicorn eyelashes, cleansing power +15, are commonly used by mice and other small magical rodents as bristles for tiny brooms. Unicorns generously donate their fallen eyelashes to families of mice each day. A good Unicorn eyelash broom lasts forever.
Next let’s talk about the most majestic part of all: the horn (strength +70, agility +45, majestic-ness +97). The horn can be used for many different things, but is the most powerful when still attached to the Unicorn’s forehead. If you can train your Unicorn to obey you, it can be used as a deadly weapon against your enemies. A simple slash through the flesh and the enemy’s body will begin to deteriorate. Unless the blow is countered by a special Unicorn antidote made from Unicorn spit and unicorn hair (taken orally), the victim will last no longer than 23 minutes. If the Unicorn chooses, he may shoot sparkly stars out of his horn to cause others to fly, cause himself to fly, or cause flies to stay away from him. Be very wary if you come across a Unicorn horn which is unattached from the head. These contain dark, magical powers that can be dangerous in the wrong hands. So keep the horns away from villains and sorcerers who live in the abandoned towers on the outskirts of town and also old people.
The rest of the Unicorn’s body contains much more magic. The tail is like the mane as far as growth ability, strength, and healing powers, but it is also able to lift large amounts of weights up to 4 times as heavy as the Unicorn. The Unicorns know that this covetous, majestic power may be misused by the wrong person, so they rarely use this ability in the open. Many people do not know this is possible for a Unicorn. Knowledge is power! Use it wisely!
Unicorn hooves, agility +50, are lightning fast literally. When a Unicorn generates speed, their hooves spout lightning. The sound of their gallop produces a thunderous sound. Many thunder storms are due to Unicorn stampedes as a matter of fact.
Come back next week for part two! ;)